


give us time

by Capitola



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Episode: c02e098 Dark Waters, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Minor Yeza Brenatto/Nott | Veth Brenatto, Relationship Discussions, Widobrave Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:08:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23360713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capitola/pseuds/Capitola
Summary: Her hand is softer, now, and smaller, and the nails are blunter.This isVeth’shand, he reminds himself, and by saying it enough times he will remember.This is your friend, Veth, and her skin is brown and her hands are small and soft, and her eyes— and he brings himself to look at her, and her eyes are a golden brown, still framed by lacy blue tattoos and almost sparkling back at him. He knew every inch of her, her body his own creation, and yet she looks almost a stranger to him.-----Veth knows Caleb would say it was worth it for him to help her return to herself, and never enjoy the fruits of it with her. But she looks at the desperate hunger in his eyes and knows he could never mean it. She loves him for it.
Relationships: Nott | Veth Brenatto/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 34
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a draft for an embarrassingly long time. It didn't fit in with any of the days for widobrave week, so I'm posting it here on the last day.
> 
> First chapter is gen, second chapter (which I should have up in a day or so) will be smut.
> 
> Title is from “Road to Nowhere” by Talking Heads.

It’s three days (or, technically, two days, ten hours, six minutes, and a dozen-odd seconds) after Caleb changes her that she comes back to him. 

He sits cross-legged on the floor, with a book he borrowed from Yussa spread out next to his scratch paper and piles of spell materials. He has been working very hard the last few days, determined to coast on the joy that comes from his great success. Determined not to think about the fact that she has everything back now. That in helping her to achieve it, he might have severed the one last thread ensuring she would need him. 

He knows it is her when the door slips open, quick and quiet. Still, he does not believe it, does not look until she sidles up next to him, and squeezes his free hand in hers. 

Her hand is softer, now, and smaller, and the nails are blunter. _This is_ Veth’s _hand_ , he reminds himself, and by saying it enough times he will remember. _This is your friend, Veth, and her skin is brown and her hands are small and soft, and her eyes_ — and he brings himself to look at her, and her eyes are a golden brown, still framed by lacy blue tattoos and almost sparkling back at him. He knew every inch of her, her body his own creation, and yet she looks almost a stranger to him.

“Are you going to hide in here until we leave?” Her voice, at least, is the same, and he smiles, a timid, tired smile.

“I’m not hiding,” Caleb says, which is true, if you only count “actively avoiding a threat” as hiding. “I, I am giving you time.”

“Time for what?”

“Time with your son, your husband, your -” _your family_ , he thinks to say, but he’s talked himself into a corner there already, 

She strokes his palm with her thumb. “ _We're_ family,” she says, as if reading his mind. “You said it yourself."

And she bends down cautiously, face inclined towards him, and though he knows better he closes the space between them and kisses her. Kissing ( _Veth, Veth, Veth_ ) is just like kissing Nott because of the way she mashes her face against his, like she wants her skin to be as close to his as possible, and nothing like kissing Nott because her mouth is smaller and her lips are softer and there are far fewer sharp teeth involved. Caleb has never kissed Veth before.

The vain part of him thinks to marvel at his own handiwork, like a sculptor enamored with his statue. He holds her chin in his thumb and forefinger, taking in the soft curve of her face, the dimples of each cheek. 

"Can we still be...?" Her voice is reticent, uncharacteristically halting. 

"Still what?"

"Can we still be - what we were?"

What they have been: unlikely allies, acquaintances, bedmates (in the platonic sense of the word), friends, bedmates (in the other sense of the word), and whatever the awkward thing that comes from having once been bedmates but still being friends is called. 

“I don’t know if we should be. Am I - am I to assume things have changed?” The last time, months ago, that she had kissed him like this, _alone_ , she had said she couldn’t, not anymore. Not now that she had Yeza back, and now that Caleb had promised her a way back to herself again. Nott could do these things, but if she was to become Veth again, she had obligations. And Caleb understood, she had enough work to do, rebuilding her marriage and her family and her home. He should have always understood what they had was temporary, even when he thought she was only a goblin. That someday she would hate herself less, that one day she would wake up and realize she wasn’t so horrible to be around that she had to associate with the likes of _him_. 

“Yes,” she says, hand running across the two-day stubble on his chin. 

“‘Yes,’ how?”

“Do we have to talk about it now?” Her shoulders sink a little, and her eyes dart to the side. “Can’t you just fuck me into the mattress or whatever and we can talk about it in the morning?”

“ _Veth_ ,” he says, serious. “Did you leave your husband?”

“ _What_? No, never.” She looks genuinely hurt by the idea. “Never, ever.”

“Then how -”

“We _talked_ . He said I - said _we_ could.” She shakes her head. “I couldn’t - I wouldn’t have wanted to be - ‘second love of my life,’ remember? That’s not a ranking, that’s just...just the order I met you in. I love him. I love you. I want - I really want this to work.” She wraps both hands around his, nearly pleading.

And Caleb knows he shouldn’t, but in that moment, he freezes, too well-trained to take a good thing dangled in front of him at face value, to take what he _wants_ at face value. And of course, she interprets his freezing a different way, the hopeful, vulnerable look on her face dropping into one of jaded resignation. She draws back, drops his hand.

“I can see it. I shouldn’t have sprung all this on you at once, I should go -” 

“Veth.” Each time he says it, it feels like he is reinforcing the spell, binding it a little surer and a little tighter. “I did not say I wanted you to go.” She looks at him, eyes no longer lamplike, but like fine gems in the candlelight. “Three months ago I thought you would never kiss me like that again. Three _days_ ago I thought our paths might fork for good.” He sighs, and he knows he is lost. “I would have missed you.”

“I’d miss you _forever_.” The words spill out of her mouth so quickly. “Every day of my life we weren’t in the same place.”

“Ja. Ja, I would, too.” And there is nothing more to say to that besides a word he’s already said too much of already, so he kisses her again.

Veth responds by pulling in closer, kissing him harder. “Can’t you please, _please_ just take me to bed already and we can talk about the rest of this in the morning?”

“Oh, you wanted us to do this in bed?” He says, a smile twitching at his lips. “I thought I’d just spread you out over my notes and ruin three days of good work.”

“You wouldn’t.” She smiles. “But I’m flattered by the offer.”


	2. Chapter 2

Veth knows, deep down, that they shouldn’t encourage each other, not when she knows they don’t have the greatest history about communicating their feelings to each other. They _should_ take more time to talk about this, to understand what this means now. 

_Perhaps,_ some nasty little part of her brain adds, _things shouldn’t keep working out as well as they do for you._

The problem is that it _is_ a lot easier when they’re in bed. It’s easier to lie down and kiss Caleb like she needs it to breathe, to nuzzle her cheeks against his rough stubble, to try and get so wrapped up in each other that they don’t know where each of them ends and the other begins. Easier when he’s undoing all the buttons on her dress and she’s shoving his shirt halfway over his head. He traces his hand over the ring of marks Yeza left around her neck, and a blush creeps into her face. _Look at the body you gave me and look at how I have used it already,_ she thinks.

She knows Caleb would say it was worth it for him to help her return to herself, and never enjoy the fruits of it with her. But she looks at the desperate hunger in his eyes and knows he could never mean it. She loves him for it.

They undress each other with precision, with steady hands to show that this is a job they know and do well. These are better clothes than the last ones they’d peeled off of each other. Fewer bandages to unspool. Veth doesn’t flinch anymore when her clothes come off; if anything, she’s working to contain how happy she is to get another look at her body. The marvel in his eyes definitely _helps_ , too, but it’s not like his taste is everything. 

(She’s pretty sure she caught him looking at her like that when she was a goblin, after all.)

They strip each other down to bare skin, down to flesh new and scarred. She winds up straddling his thigh, practically kneeling in his lap. Caleb inclines towards her, planting soft kisses across her shoulders. His cock is already flushed and stiff, scarcely inches from her knee but not close enough to touch. On impulse, she jiggles a breast in one hand, taking comfort in the weight of it, the soft skin. He slides his hand over hers and she leans into his touch. 

“I missed your hands,” she says, pulling his free hand in her own. Silly thing to say, really — it’s not like his hands went anywhere, not like she stopped holding his hand at every opportunity. But she missed the way he uses his hands when he’s making love to her, missed that singular focus on making her happy. She thinks he knows what she means, but:

“What, these old things?” He says, a teasing glint in his eye. “I can’t imagine —” he shifts his palm down her side “— what you could possibly miss —” across her thigh, sending a shiver up her spine “ — about these.” He brings his thumb up against her clit and a moan slips past her lips.

“ _Fuck_ , Lebby.” He doesn’t stop there, he pushes his finger back to her cunt, back to where she’s already slick and wanting. And he’s looking at her so tenderly, with so much desire that she’s not sure how to handle it. 

Maybe it’s because her body is new and maybe it’s because she went months without letting anyone touch her like that. She couldn’t fuck Caleb because she had her husband back and she couldn’t fuck Yeza because she couldn’t bear the thought of him seeing her body when it looked like that. She couldn’t bear the idea that she would catch a flash of revulsion in his eyes, no matter how much she knew he loved her. She comforted herself for months with the idea of a future full of love and now she has it right in front of her, her cake and eating it too. 

Caleb crooks his finger inside her, and it’s so much, already. She leans forward against him, feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest underneath her soft cheek. 

“Won’t you make a little noise for me, schatz?” He whispers, his thumb stroking again across her clit but she does not look at him.

He keeps working at her with thumb and forefinger, but his other hand softly pinches her calf. “Hey,” she says, staring up at him with an accusatory look. 

“Won’t you let me hear how much I’m driving you crazy?”

“Maybe it’s a compliment that you can get me to shut up,” she whispers. 

“I know you’re holding yourself back. Let me hear it. These rooms certainly have heavy enough walls for it.” 

Veth rocks forward to press herself against Caleb’s hand, and lets a soft moan pass her lips as he hits a sweet spot. He begins to work at that same spot with a renewed vigor, and she responds with deeper moans, and once she starts making a little noise for him it’s hard to stop. He _does_ drive her crazy — never underestimate the precise fingers of a scribe, cat’s-cradle-practiced fingers. She has to come so she can loosen up and he can fuck her properly, and she already wants his cock so badly. The thought of every inch of him fucking into her — 

His finger curls inside her again, and his thumb presses on her clit so hard that Veth tumbles over the edge of her orgasm. The sound she makes against his chest can only be described as a sob, and she feels his breath catch, like he’s seeing her brought to pieces for the first time. When his finger slides out of her, she takes a moment to breathe, feeling the end of the soft euphoria dissipating from her limbs. 

Then she moves in his lap, swinging her leg over his so that her cunt is brushing up against his cock. Caleb looks at her like he’s about to melt.

“Do you trust me?” He asks, smiling like he’s had a good idea.

“Yes,” Veth breathes, never more sure of anything.

Pleasure wells up in his smile with that one word from her. “Do you want me?”

“ _Please._ ” This is the first time he’s had her almost begging him, but she’s not opposed to the idea, and he seems delighted by it as well. 

“Good.” And he holds her tightly to him as he moves forward, pressing her back into the mattress and sliding his cock into her, nearly to the root. The sensation is almost too much for her, and a heavy moan escapes her lips.

“ _Caleb_ ,” she says, her legs giving a little jerk at the full sensation of him fucking her. “Lebby, I _need_ you — “

“I know. You’re so hot, so wet for me, liebling.” He begins fucking her with a soft, gentle pull and push, desperation making itself known in his face, and in the low grunts from his throat. He moves his hands to the sides of her chest, thumbs stroking over her nipples. She doesn’t think he’ll last long like this, but he’s so careful, so determined to make her come along with him. “Veth,” he says, bending his head towards hers.

“That’s my name,” she murmurs, hips bucking against him. 

“Veth,” he repeats, and she loves the careful sound of her reclaimed name in his voice. 

“Let me hear you,” she says, “let me hear you and _please don’t stop,_ Lebby.”

Her name becomes a benediction, a buzz on his lips, as she feels him spend inside of her, his whole body shaking with pleasure. Pleasure from _her._ The thought takes over her mind like the sensation of his cock inside of her has taken over her loins, and she comes in shudders against him. 

Caleb pulls off her gently, before collapsing on his side, looking at her with a hazy, soft smile. She puts a hand to his cheek and he mirrors the gesture; tender, trembling fingers resting on her jaw. 

“That was wonderful,” Veth says.

“You’re wonderful,” he replies, pulling her in for another kiss. “I missed you.”

“I missed you,” she echoes.

“Will you stay?”

“Yes,” she says, then amends. “I might be gone when you get up — I want to spend the morning with Yeza, because we’re — ”

“Leaving tomorrow, yes,” Caleb says, finishing her sentence almost unconsciously. “Of course.”

“But I’ll fall asleep with you.” She curls up towards him, and he wraps one arm over her. “I missed this.”

He extinguishes the light, and they lie there in the silent dark for a minute. Then:

“Veth?” She can hear questions behind her name in his voice, questions about what they’ll do next, what this means now. She’d rather not.

“Later,” she says, a little too quickly. “Some other time, Lebby, please.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You thought it.” She cuddles him even closer.

She wishes she weren't so greedy to hear it, because she knows there's a thousand other ways he means it. There is great affection in his touches, and his ways, and he has given her the greatest gift imaginable in this, her body her own once again. But — 

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” he says, and the words hang heavy over them, long after they’ve both fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit that was longer than a few days. 
> 
> If you are one of the twelve people who subscribed to this fic over the past five (eep!) months, here is your reminder to unsubscribe, and a thank you for your patience while I finished this up! Much love as always to [asterCrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterCrash), who always listens to me talk through my process. And a big shout-out to everyone in the widobrave discord server who encourage and enable my nonsense. You can find me on tumblr as capitola, twitter as knitinerant, and on the widobrave server.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated <3


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